Sunday, 11 November 2012

Gratitude in the midst of worry and anxiety

It's Monday morning and people who are gonna do something especially productive with their lives today are already awake and about their business. Me? I'm barely awake. Barely. I haven't had my RDA of caffeine and noodles and I haven't said more than a "Good morning, God" since 12am when I finally closed my eyes to sleep. My data plan on my phone has expired so, no, I haven't tweeted this morning yet. Right now, I'm trying to be in this century by getting on Google Plus after much ado. I don't know how to work the thing but I'm determined to get a hang of it before I shut this laptop down.

But really, this post isn't about my social awkwardness or Monday morning laziness, it's about my empty wallet mostly. For those of you that have already been stopping by this blog, you would know that I stopped my holiday job as a writer and research consultant at a branding agency. I worked for about a month, the pay was fancy, my colleagues were nice people, my boss was the hottest on the block and I was just generally thankful to be able to get up 5am every morning and get back home at 7pm. I thrive on being busy. I love waking up every morning knowing that I had a truckload of stuff to do but also knowing that I'm going to get it all done. It was only for a month (I can't stop stressing this) but I feel like a kid whose mom stopped giving her the pacifier. Yes, I've been writing my book and I have been blogging stories on my other site but it still doesn't feel the same. School was s'pose to resume today but it doesn't look like much is going on at school today so I'm going to save money (that really isn't there) and stay home today. You're probably asking "What about the fancy salary you mentioned?" I tithed to God and I gave the rest to my daddy because he needed to pay the bills and that is more important than the beautiful weaves and dresses I would've spent the money on. Now, I don't have a single dime in my pocket, I haven't paid for accommodation at school and I (or my dad) don't have the money for it right now either. Am I worried? Out of my sweet little mind. Do I have a plan? Nope. Nothing.

I am a bundle of anxiety and worry right now but I figure I'm just going to give it to God. I mean, looking at the situation logically, there really is nothing I can do about it by worrying or being anxious. So I'm just going to sit here and give it to God instead. He's in control, heaven knows I'm not. I might not be able to stop worrying all at once (for a perpetual worrier that's hard) but I'm going to give it to Him as much as I can. As much as He helps me too.

I can still count my blessings knowing that other people have it worse than me. I shouldn't be complaining. I have a roof over my head, I'm not under some bridge in the rain right now. I'm going to have breakfast this morning and I'm going to have a mug of coffee too. I'm going to subscribe to a data plan even though it will only last for a day, it's something to be grateful for.

I bet you have reasons to be grateful too!

Nobody is in on my 30 day prayer thing for my readers and followers yet. Check my last post so you can get in on it and find out what it's about. I may not know you personally, yeah you sitting across this screen, but I want the best for you and I want you to be happy. God does too. Want to share something with me? I hear sharing problems with a complete stranger is therapeutic. Leave me a comment or send me mail ibukunakinnawo@gmail.com

XO,
Ibukun.

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