Sunday, 6 January 2013

Come Clean

This is my body given for your freedom, this is my blood which was shed for all of mankind. Take, all, and eat till the day of my return...
 I knew that the little cup and pebble of bread was life

My Oxygen mask.

My life

In 2012, I had been playing games with Him but then 2013 came and I knew that it was time.

Time to come clean.

Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

                                                                                                          - James 1-8 (NLT)
Boy was I unstable in 2012. My loyalty was divided. It was a tug of war.

I wanted in and I wanted out

But today, I knew that I wanted no more of my past. Hide and seek with God gets exhausting after sometime. 
Sometimes, you have to get up and walk away from your past but you can't keep walking. You have to find a safehouse. And when you find that house, you don't just shut the door behind you. You keep the door securely shut. 

And then I (and you) can pick up bread and wine in remembrance of the One that gave Himself for me. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It doesn't have to be in a cathedral. It could be in my room, alone, on my knees, broken, completely empty before God. Then I can pray Luke 22:19-20 out loud like the desperate, needy person that I am. Scripture is the only lock I have against my past when it comes knocking. If I don't have scripture, I have nothing.

Without His body and His blood, I am nothing.

So when Pastor said we could drink from the cup and eat the bread, I drank like a thirsty woman and ate the bread thoughtfully...more thoughtfully than I have ever eaten anything in my nineteen years. 
His body.
His blood.
His Word. 

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

                                                                                                         - John 4:13-14(NLT)
That's why this year, I'm getting in on The Romans Project by Ann Voskamp. The aim is to memorise Romans 1, 8, 12  this year so that my heart can really know. Because "what a heart knows by heart is what a heart really knows." Will you join me and a community of other women? And possibly men? People that want the Word of God to really stay and become a part of them every minute of their lives? Because you never get a memo that a particular day will come up when you desperately need to hear Romans 12:1. If you already know it by heart you won't need a memo. You'll just need the Word.

And the next time you get to have bread...and wine(or whatever substitute you can find) eat and drink in remembrance of the One that doesn't play games with us...the One that remains faithful even when we are unfaithful because He cannot deny who He is. And please...whatever you do, come clean with God this year. 
Give Him full loyalty or give Him nothing.

Give everything that you are in exchange for something greater. Shut the door on your past and don't. look. back. I'm leaving divided loyalty to God in 2012. I encourage you to do same.

I'm aware that there are a handful of Churches starting a fast tomorrow. My church is starting the Daniel fast. I was actually suppose to start today but I wanted to say goodbye to Barbeque chicken and a large serving of fried rice. And Fanta (of course) 
I pray for grace because I have never fasted in my life so this is a new experience for me. I'm aware that I need to spend more time decluttering my mind, spending less time on social networks, checking Instagram and spend more time just listening to God...getting a clear blueprint for my life this year. It will be difficult because I am restless and I tweet an average of 60 tweets per day, check my Instagram everyday (idols, don't you think?) but it will be worth it. 

Are you doing a fast for the next 21 days too? Will you be starting the Romans Project? Are you already in on it? I'd love to hear all about it :)




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  2. What a powerful post??!!! Coming clean before the Lord is a wonderful way to begin the year!! I fail Him daily, and I am so thankful that His mercies are new every morning!
    I will pray for you as you begin this journey. Just last fall, we did No Other Gods Bible study (by Kelly Minter) and what an eye opener to the idols in my life. Although, I don't do Twitter(its probably a good thing!!!), I spent wayyyy too much time on blog hopping, facebook and pinterest. I am learning that I have to limit my time so that I can focus more on the Lord!

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