Thursday, 10 January 2013

Show Me How To Die

What do you do when you fall? When you fall think you fall miserably out of God's grace? What do you do when you keep doing the one thing you had sworn you were done with? And you keep crawling back to your Father's throne room.

I cling desperately to the cross because I know that there is nothing else to keep me from falling apart.

Guilt attempts to keep me from calling on God and telling Him that I am sorry...again.

Guilt whispers to me that I am not truly remorseful...that if I truly was, I'd stop going back.

God tells me that He is right there where I have fallen. He doesn't love me any more or any less.

I want so desperately to believe it, I'm clinging to it, numbing my fingers just clinging to it.

There is nothing else, there is no salvation elsewhere. 
I am trying so hard to earn grace and I am failing miserably.

If you're reading this and you're struggling with an addiction of any sort, know that you are not alone. You are never alone. There is a frail, weak woman behind this screen struggling as much as you are.
You are not alone.

Cling to Him in all of your filth, listen to Him, read Him, talk about Him, talk to Him but don't you ever walk away from Him. Never.
And ask Him to show you how to die

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