Monday, 11 February 2013

Look who hasn't blogged in awhile

I think the reason I've been cranky for most of today is because I haven't journaled in a really long time (one month is a long time, don't argue)
Deep sigh!
Lord knows I do not know where to start from. I can tell you, however that these past few days have:
  • tested my sanity
  • brought  dragged me closer to God
  • made me cry
  • made me laugh hard
  • find new friends
  • discover some more of my flaws
  • tested my sanity some more
School has been more than overwhelming, Bible study and prayer meeting is back on campus and the worrier in me is bothered a lot of people won't show up, the worrier in me is bothered about her account, etc


Very very recently, I almost plunged into a relationship I was not so sure had God's approval. I was restless and I was under pressure. I remember the vow I made at the beginning of the year to stay out of relationships but a few words of persuasion from a man I admired and respected had me doubting the wisdom in my decision to stay off relationships this year. The details are all really messy and for the sake of the other party, I'm not going to disclose it on here. It is really painful to me because I actually almost fell...thinking I was falling forward into God's will. There's a lot of confusion and bitterness and doubt in my heart as I type this (the period has  a hand in this, I'm sure) but I choose to forgive this person. I have a past that I'm not so proud and I can guess how it feels to have your past haunt you no matter where you turn but I have learned that when you come clean about who you are and who you used to be, your past has no power over you. It may still hurt and sometimes, you may still fear but when you come clean and tell the truth as plain as day, your past loses power. As at right now, I am still unsure about God's will in the matter so I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until I get heart-peace and confirmation from God.

On a lighter note, I'm thankful for the online community of women at She Reads Truth  these women have blessed me and encouraged me beyond their imaginations. And everyday, I whisper a heart-felt "thank you" to God for them.
I'm off to catch up on lost sleep (I didn't sleep till 3am last night) thanks for dropping by my journal, reading my thoughts, mentally giving me a hug, praying for me. I love y'all

3 comments:

  1. You go girl!! :)
    Keep trusting yourself- you are a clever girl, and God will watch out for you!
    Get some rest too, you have a lot going on. You need it!
    PS How in the world did you get so wise?Wow!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Ibukun!
    Dumb me, I assumed that it registered my email, lol. I have a whole lot to learn about computers, blogs, etc!,
    I so enjoy your writings. Your observations of self and others are deep and you don't shrink from the truth- not easy in this self absorbed world! You have so much on your plate with school and church, etc.. You are going to be a successful young lady! I hope you've received an answer to your dilemma w/your man- I hope he is worthy of you Ibukun! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Almost did it again!! Email is:
    e.radical.84@Gmail.com

    ReplyDelete