Monday, 6 May 2013

One Burning Heart

Saturday afternoon came and I went to get my heart scalded from the exuberance of young men and women that have tasted and seen that God is good. Saturday night came and I got my right hand scalded from making late dinner when I got home. And I was up till late tending this hand with a loyal ice pack.  Every time I took my hand away from the ice pack, it felt like that one scalding minute all over again so I put my hand under the pack again. 1am came and I had still not found solace in sleep so this little lady turned to Wikipedia to treat her scalded hand and came to find that ice only does more damage to a scalded body part. So I let the pack go even though it brought me complete, temporal relief.
My right hand burned and ached and I all but gave in to the ice that beckoned from the kitchen. But I let it burn because I had come to understand that after the burning sensation comes peace. All I was in the wee hours of Sunday morning was one. Burning. Hand
So it burned and burned and I paced and almost cried but I let it burn till peace came.
Sunday morning arrived sooner than I would have liked. I flexed my right hand like it was new and I’d been given another chance at life- and I had. I entered church with a heart still raw from Saturday afternoon fellowship and a right hand still raw from Saturday night cooking and I lifted the raw hand and heart to the Creator in worship and I let my sacrifice of worship burn before the Holy of Holies.
So it burned and burned and I almost cried but I let it burn till peace came.
Nene asked on Saturday what to do when you don’t feel God’s Presence and I have come to find that when God is most silent, I should let my heart burn. And in the times I don’t feel anything ethereal, I can feel the rawness of my heart and know that when all my senses and all that I am is reduced to one burning heart, my God sits almost at the edge of His seat to listen to my worship, my words. He looks past all the choirs of angels that continually sing “Hosanna!” to Him and inclines His ear to my “Hosanna!”
And he looks past the elders that cast their crowns of the purest gold at His feet and He looks at me, casting my one little crown at His feet. And as everyone else around me sang, a lump so thick formed in my throat that I became one. Burning.Heart.
One heart burning for more of God that I could not care less whether I feel Him in the room, come morning, when I pray or not.
One heart burning with such an intensity that a natural response to God’s goodness would be overwhelming gratitude expressed in generosity. Generous worship, praise and generous giving
And like that article I read, generosity becomes, to me, like the thunder after the lightning. And generosity with my thanksgiving and prayers becomes daily bread whether I feel Him or not. That I stop saying “Show yourself. Let me feel Your Presence!” and start praying  “Let me feel my heart! Let me become one burning heart”
That I become a heart completely ravished and consumed by a love for Him. And that “Holiness unto God” becomes imprinted on my heart.”
So I bought a ring for my scalded right hand to wear as a reminder
Holiness unto God
That I never forget and I never stop burning.

1 comment:

  1. Hi ibuken its forgiven(monique) I pray all is well with you. I really look forward to reading your blogs they are beautiful written. I pray that Gods hand continues to shine in your life and that your doing well in school:) God bless you and here is my email email me let's chats! Be blessed