Thursday, 25 July 2013

Celebrating femininity, sacred romance and a little bit of heaven: Tomilola

No, this isn't the same Tomi that wrote on the first day, but she's made of the same delightful heart material as the other Tomi. Tomilola is one of the few women about my age that inspire me to be a better Christian, friend, woman and I'm more than glad that today she's sharing a part of herself with us.  Be inspired.

Looking at my body in my half length mirror after a bath and I say “Thank you , Tomi” I didn't like my semi-protruding tummy, so I went and worked for the one I have now, I prefer me now.
“What are you eating? You are growing fatter.” Was all I heard before and I never liked it but now?
“Are you sick? You are half of what you used to be” and in my mind I'm like “Hard work pays”
Jumping ropes in my room, 21-days fitness challenge, work-out videos, sit ups – “they” thought I was insane, now I smile at the image I see and say (again) “Thank you Tomilola, for not giving up”
I'm not super skinny, I can get that if I want but I just wanted a flat tummy and I went on the hard work rack and picked one my size.
I don’t suck belle, it sucks itself, how amazing is that?
I smile knowing I can get what I want by just taking a trip to the “hard work rack” I love my new confidence. I wear it on my face, so the world sees it, it comes in a case and I open up to showcase it in all its 32nd glory – oh mine is its 28th glory, lets call it an incomplete white case reeking with confidence. I still love it.
My eyes stray from my “hot borri” to my bedside table, I know I've put the frame down for a while but today it stares back at me through the mirror, your smile, our smiles. What happened again? Why can’t I seem to forget you? How was it so easy for you to forget me?  This is not about the questions, today I smile back at the smiles, I am grateful for the Love, for the smiles he brought into my life when I least expected it.
He  accepted me, listened to me and loved me without questions, oh! I Loved him. I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life, he is different and I loved that about him.
The way he always swooped me off my feet –literally – letting his fingers slide down my nose, was that not his best part of my whole body? My nose. I always wondered how he found the chunky thing so cute, still makes me giggle, he’ll probably never understand why I said “You were the 2nd best thing that ever happened to me” Today I don’t curl up in bed and cry, today I don’t say a prayer for him.
I pick out my best dress and wear those shoes he bought me and smile because I felt the love so real, I step out my house, look in the sky and say “Thank you father because you never leave” I celebrate Love, not yours, not mine but the one the father gives freely and never takes away.
I laid naked on the bathroom floor crying why? I didn't understand how he could love me so much, with all my garbage, I didn't understand how important I was to him. Oh how I longed for your touch and he showed up, he rocked me and said “Trust me”
Now, gradually I'm getting a hold of it, I'm accepting it. I said gradually because its so huge my little mind cant comprehend the full extent. Oh! How I love you right back with my imperfect love – just the way you like it. I Love you Lord.
People ask why and the answer is the same because “You are who you are and there is no one else like you”
Sometimes, I feel you from afar doing all the work and preparing to blow my mind like you always do, other times I feel you very close and I'm tempted to steal a hug. Its an amazing ride.
I've learnt to let go with you.
I've learnt to be vulnerable with you.
I've learnt to stay in a relationship with you.
You are faithful and all I have to do is accept all that you freely give me, which still leaves me in awe of you – Always.
I randomly catch myself smiling because I am conversing with you in my spirit – its what you do to me.
You are the real sunshine in my life.
You are indeed the best thing that ever happened to me, so why wont I be grateful everyday?
Today – just like everyday- I celebrate the best gift, the gift of the truest and purest form of Love.
Today, above all, I celebrate God!

Tomilola tweets at @Mfoluwa regularly and blogs at The Foot of The Hill. She'd be more than glad to connect with you and get to know you a little better than a comment box will allow.

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