Friday, 18 October 2013

Here's why you need new friends

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source: happy in day

I may not know all the lyrics to Drake’s ‘No new friends’ but I know that he said “no new friends" for most of the song. I'm guessing he doesn't appreciate new company or he’s terribly shy. 

Sometime in 2011, it hit me like a train that I needed new friends—plenty new friends! I wanted to be right with God. I actually tried really hard to be good on some days but on most days I was anything but good (I wrote more on the “good” girl, “bad” girl divide here). I needed a lifeline and I needed change. I wanted to change so much that if wanting to be good so bad could change anything, I’d be Mother Teresa.
Change didn't happen no matter how much I wished it would. Change began to happen for me when I got new friends.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.”           
- Psalm 1:1(NKJV, emphasis mine)

Notice the progression in the verse above (stay with me here). I thought I could juggle being a good girl and keeping company with people who didn't share my faith. I thought I could “handle it”, I walked with them first then I stood with them when they get somewhere comfortable (for them) then finally, I got into a chair with them. All the while, I just didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb. I preferred to be “safe” with people I’d known than step out and towards godly young men and women. So maybe you really want to follow God with all your heart but some way, somehow too you don’t want to be different.

You somehow wish you could be a good Christian guy/girl and still be the same? I know how that feels. So I can honestly tell you that that’s about as impossible as it is for you to dive into a pool and not be wet.  Same way it is not possible to walk, stand, sit—basically spend a lot of time with—unbelieving friends and not be influenced by them. It’s just not possible. You are directly and heavily influenced by the crowd you spend the most time with.

There’s only two ways to fall and neither one is safe, honestly. Choosing to be different will be hard (no doubt) but not as hard as it will be to know better and not do better.
Now, I'm not saying you should pick up and disappear to another country because you’re trying to avoid your old friends, no. I'm saying choose to spend more time with people that encourage you to grow in your faith not ones that ridicule and put you down for what you believe. They will begin to notice the change eventually and will do one of two things: slander you a lot (expect this) or join you. Either way, please remember that it’s not about them; it’s about your relationship with Jesus (the ultimate friend). That is more important that popular opinion.

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are my friends if you do whatever I command you.”               - John 15:13-14(NLT)

Please, please, please do not bash people’s heads in with your new Bible and be all smug about your faith. That wouldn't be called “being a Christian” that would be “being a jerk”. Love them, lay down your life for them—really love them. Love them like you would want to be loved. Consciously lay down your life for them in prayer and in showing them what a vibrant relationship with God is like all the while building yourself up with new friends.

Taken the dive and want new friends? I’d love to be friends with you! Connect with me here. Let’s have a virtual date J Yes, new friends! Yes, new friends! Yes, new friends! Yes, yes, yes!


  1. I'm at that point in my life where I'm trying to ''avoid'' the company of my old friends because of my faith. I'm always giving the excuse that I'm busy but in reality I simply can't connect with them anymore.
    Recently, I realised I was gradually becoming a recluse. The idea of making new friends sounds great but for now, I'd rather just be by myself and enjoy my own company.

    P:S I have less than 5 friends atm.


    1. I totally get what you mean! You're lucky you're not having to deal with slander though.
      Hoping you come out of the recluse-phase soon and become my friend (in real life) :-)

  2. I guess its not a coincidence that i preached on frienship tonight right before i stumbled on your post. It really hit home for me cus about two years ago i found myself drowned in the company of bad friends I couldnt even find myself anymore.
    it took a very serious illness to get me back on track. i guess God was teaching me a lesson. I could go on and on but i'll just stop here tonight
    Congrats on your domain name and your blog looks great!..x

    1. Thank you, Olakunmi! So glad this resonated with you!