Saturday, 22 March 2014

Saturday Favorites

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Since Blair stopped the Life Lately link up, I kinda pushed "Life with Ibukun lately" blog ideas to the back. I haven't exactly missed it but then this wouldn't be a lifestlye blog if I never shared any life now, would it? Hehe. So I figured I'd go back to doing Friday Favourites but spruce it up a bit by not only sharing stuff I'm loving right now but also sharing life as I'm living it. Oh and sharing on Saturdays instead of Fridays

I haven't been able to reply comments on blogposts since my last post and I'm kind of freaked out because I don't know how to fix it. So, forgive me, it's not that I've been a snob about replying. It's this contraption of a comment system that has me stymied. Help is welcome. And I hope I used 'stymied' correctly.

I've been reading The Circle Maker since forever but only finished it today. This book is so so good, I'm going to start reading it again tomorrow. It's about prayer, about faith in God, about a God that is bigger than our fears and is more than able to grant us that which we ask in prayer. I highlighted just about every page in my copy and I'll do it again. And again.

"So while God is for us, most of us have no idea what we want God to do for us. And that's why our prayers aren't just boring to us; they are uninspiring to God. If faith is being sure of what we hope for, then being unsure of what we hope for is the antithesis of faith, isn't it? Well-developed faith results in well-defined prayers, and well-defined prayers result in a well-lived life"                                       - Mark Batterson ( an excerpt from 'The CircleMaker')

Then I found Sade's blog and this post on being alone and everything looked a little different, better. Someone else felt something I'd felt for awhile and put it in words.

"My problem wasn't being alone as such, but rather the type of aloneness i felt. I didn't understand how to be alone, or rather I should say, I didn't know how to enjoy my own company..."

This spoken word by Tanya Davis? I've listened to it about a hundred times already. It made my eyes water and my lips have blown a hundred kisses to Tanya wherever she is. This.

 If you are at first lonely, be patient.
If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.
We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books; you’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.
There is also the gym, if you’re shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in.
Then there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.
And there’s prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.
Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid being alone principles.
The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by chow-downers, employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone.
Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.
When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and Silverware. You’re no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo dessert and cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.
Go to the movies. Where it’s dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching because they’re probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you’re sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things, down your back, like a book of blessings.
Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might have never happened had you not been there by yourself.
Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after a while nobody is dating them.
But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.
You can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.
But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those “sappy slogans” from pre-school over to high school groaning, we’re tokens for holding the lonely at bay.
Cause if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.
It’s okay if no one believes like you, all experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be relieved, keeps things interesting, life’s magic things in reach, and it doesn't mean you aren't connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.
Take silence and respect it.
If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn't get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.
You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it.
If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it.
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

I recently started keeping a gratitude journal and it helps me keep things in perspective. It helps me find joy when I think there is none and keeps me thankful when I'd rather throw a pity party

This post by Leigh Kramer is the 7th in her The Enneagram and Blogging series and it captures my dreams, fears, strengths, vices as a type 7 perfectly. So perfectly it makes me shiver (in a good way). You can read the rest of the series here

I made it to week 2 of TNC's The Writer competition thanks to your votes! And my post for this week is up here. To keep me in the competition till next week, vote here. It won't take all of two minutes and will mean the world to me.

Finally, here's what I've been carrying in my bag all week: 1. shades (if my ex didn't give me this Gucci pair I probably still won't own one *chuckle*), 2. LA Girl gloss n go lipgloss (smells like heaven), 3. MAC RubyWoo (because I love red lipstick), 4. sunscreen (because I seriously don't want to get any darker), 5. Blotting paper 6. notepad (for the important stuff)

So share with me: what's been going on in your life lately? What are the awesome things you've found on the internet? The stuff you have and couldn't seem to do without this week? Drop me a link or leave me a comment!

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