Monday, 7 July 2014

The one thing that steals your joy

The short version of today's post would be this...

The longer one would be this:

I didn't realise what had been stealing my joy until I saw the quote by Theodore Roosevelt above. This is the name for the battle that goes on in my head when I check my bloglovin and wonder how/why it is that this other blogger's blog is all kinds of amazing and mine isn't. 
Only a few minutes ago I was scrolling through my feed and found photos of a really beautiful blogger. Guys, she's 23, married to the love of her life, has one handsome kid and another on the way, she's the most stylish pregnant lady I've seen in a million years and-- you guys-- she did not have one devilish pimple on her face! I'm here wondering how one person wins in all the departments and I can barely keep my balance on Sunday mornings in 4 inch heels. (Let me not even get started on the pimples and spots). And her blog? Just as gorgeous as the woman behind it. 

Is my jealousy showing yet?

Since we're being honest I should tell you about the time I unfollowed a really great person on Twitter because her tweets were more spiritual than mine and I felt abysmally inadequate. (I mean, God forbid she tweet more Jesus-y than me) 

A little while back, a follower left a comment on one of my Instagram photos saying, "I love the woman you are becoming". I was beyond flattered and I wondered what it was about me she thought was blooming into beautiful. Really, I actually sat down to think about it for a bit. 
Other times, people baffle me by saying they wish they had my hair or my skin or my lashes or my voice or my blog or my love for God or my etc. 

Me who has absolutely nothing figured out half the time and lusts after someone else's hair, lashes, voice, blog, love for God, etc. 
Me who ends up spending more time/money than she can afford to look like so-and-so and ends up burned out because my reality doesn't look like the airbrushed reality I saw on soandso dot com. 

This has really been a battle for me and now I'm owning it

The honest truth is comparison leaves you feeling inadequate when you compare someone's 100th attempt to your first.

I could choose to draw inspiration from the ladies I mentioned above but most times I let jealousy eat me up and throw myself a pretty little pity party. It's easy to forget that just like it is in my life, a lot goes on behind the scenes in other people's lives. They choose to project the pretty doesn't mean it's all and always pretty. That's real life for you. 

We're all walking different paths and leading different lives so we're bound to have different "results". I'm choosing to understand this and make peace with it. If someone's path looks like being a missionary in North Africa, well halleluyah and good for them! If another person's hair is always silky straight and obedient, cheers to flat irons! I refuse to let other people's realities intimidate me and steal my joy any more. 

For those who wish they had my *insert whatever you wish you had that's mine* you should probably know that I do not wake up like this.

What does your struggle with comparison look like? Share with me in the comment box and let's get talking

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  1. This is one young lady who is way beyond her years in mind. Commendable writing, go girl!

  2. IbukunAkinnawo16 July 2014 at 23:23

    You're the best, Hafiz! Thank you :)