Friday, 21 November 2014

That time yoga taught me something about forgiveness




I've been doing yoga for about eight months now and the experience has been exhilirating! Not at first but in the end, yes. I used to tell myself that because I'm on the slim side, it'll be easy for me to do all the yoga acrobatics like headstands, handstands and elbowstands but that hasn't been the case. For the record, I can't even do any of those stands properly yet. Last time I tried, my backside ached for weeks. I digress.







After watching my first youtube video on yoga, I found my rhythm: a few minutes in the mornings when my roomies are still asleep, when my thoughts are still in one place. I'd do the basics, take in deep breaths and now I look forward to those 20 golden minutes of exercise. I crave it. All I have to do is spread my mat, plug my ears and get lost in the music.

It's not something I talk about often here (because I don't want this online space to be gloomy or sad ) but I am depressive. And lately there's been a bunch of stuff going on that make me want to stop existing sometimes. I'm 21 but I only just learned to not take everyone and everything at facevalue. You guys, there's so much pain that could've be avoided if I didn't simply stupidly trust everything that moves

The thing that comes with knowing you were gullible/naive is the tendency to be bitter, beat yourself up about what you should've or could've done. There's the tendency to go over everything in your head and wish you could take it back and do it all over again with your new found wisdom. (Un)fortunately, that isn't how experience works.

I forced myself to quit over-analysing a particular scenario and instead I asked myself, "What did I learn from all of this?" and that's what is most important. I can't change whatever is now in the past so I might as well stop obsessing over it. I'm not going to think of what I could've said or done differently. I'm not going to talk about it. I'm not going to throw any more pity parties. I'm not going to let one person take up mental space they do not deserve. It's this really cool thing called forgiveness.

When you forgive, the only person you're doing a favour is you. 


Darling, think of all the amazing things you could do with your mind when you put all the junk bitterness in the trash can where it belongs. Learn from the experience, whatever it was, exhale and just let. it. go.


When you catch yourself thinking hateful, bitter things again. Exhale and let it go. Free up mental space, go out and be awesome.

How did yoga teach me all of this?

When I first began I used to say that I would never be able to lift myself off the ground or bend over backward. Then I began to think, "You know what, maybe it's not so hard to lift myself off the floor anyway. Maybe all I have to do is stop over-analysing, breathe and just lift myself off the bloody floor"

And I did it. I didn't get it right the first time. But I tried again the next day and the day after that. Now I'm doing things I never could.

You know the best part? There's still so much. The possibilities are endless. And it started the day I stopped thinking I could not lift myself off the floor. It started the afternoon I stopped thinking hateful things about a particular person.

It's that easy or as hard as you think it is.

Get off the floor.


4 comments:

  1. Wow this is amazing! and the lesson from it is amazing as well, still learning to forgive and I'm sure I'll get there
    I've always wanted to try yoga but never gotten around to it
    I love the way you write!


    xx

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  2. cassandra ikegbune21 November 2014 at 15:29

    I love reading your posts ibukun! I know I'm coming to read something different, that might make me think.maybe I should start this yoga thing, I'm just too darn lazy. I was going to ask you if you could teach me to swim but I didn't do that either. Smh

    www.cassiedaves.com

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  3. Yoga is amazing stuff and is best when you have a partner. Dont skip the chance to take a yoga class if you can. Your comments always warm my heart. Love you, Afoma! Xx

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  4. You comment made me grin. I'm doing back flips (in my head) right now Lool. WE SHOULD MEET UP ONE OF THESE DAYSSSS. I'M DEFINITELY lazy when it comes to following through on plans. A blogger date, maybe? After your exams

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