Sunday, 7 December 2014

If God hasn't destined for it to happen...


Hello, my name is Ibukun and I’m a worrier/over-analyzer.

It got so bad this last weekend I had to tell my mind to shut up. Seriously.



I'm officially done with University and waiting to defend my project. I moved all my stuff home to my parents this last weekend and it’s been a tiny bit weird since I haven’t been to my parents’ since February. My mornings for the next couple of weeks will probably consist me attempting to be domestic, avoiding arguments with the stepmother, writing and playing lots of Cooking Mania. Not exactly ‘fun’ compared to my daily agenda of waking up, dressing up and showing up to class, rehearsals, church, outings with friends.
This last week was prime soap opera material trying to untangle the messy knot a friendship had turned into these last few months.
“He said that you—“
“I never said that you did that. She told me that you…”

Now trust is broken and I don’t know who to believe actually said whatever the other person said they said. Gosh.
Anyway, back to my overanalyzing problem. This is what my thought train looked like Saturday night:
What if he’s telling the truth? I know she likes drama what if she just said all that stuff to make me hate him? What if he’s just crazy and messing with my head right now? Gosh, humans are stupid. This is why I have no friends. Whatever. I don’t need this people. I'm too young to be worrying about stuff like this. There’s many homemade vanilla-flavoured cakes in the ocean. Don’t need no chocolate cake abeg.

And I could sit and think like that for hours. You would think that for someone who always has so much to say, I wouldn't have so much to think haha.
This post has probably stopped making sense at this point but stay with me. I woke up Sunday morning and I had this song, Funmise by TY Bello, playing in my head (this happens every day by the way. Just not the same song)

T’Oluwa o ba funmise, tani yo wa musele? Mi o ni r’aburu tori mi o sare j’Oluwa lo.
Mi o ni p’ofo tori mi o sare j’Oluwa lo
Speak the word and it’s done
I know, I know God you are God

And it means:
If God hasn't destined for it to happen, who will make it come to pass?
I won’t run into trouble because I'm not moving ahead of God
I won’t lose because I'm not moving ahead of God

And like I was hearing it said for the first time in my life, it hit me that all of my worrying won’t change a single thing. All of my ‘planning’ so everything can turn out a particular way with someone won’t work if God hasn't destined for us to even be together. If it doesn't have God’s seal of approval, I'm just running ahead of God straight into trouble and embarrassment and pain. 

So this is the stop-drop-roll mantra that comes to mind when I catch myself worrying this week: Be anxious for nothing but with prayer and thanksgiving make your request known to God (Phil 4:6)

I'm taking that, running with it and sharing it with you in case you need something to run with this week too. The overthinking and obsessing will nothing. Give give everything to Him and rest

Listen to Funmise here:
Funmise by Ty Bello on Grooveshark

3 comments:

  1. Wow, your yoruba is good o, I never knew the translation or tried to figure it out but now that I've read you're interpretation, it makes sense, Thanks :)

    http://tukesquest.blogspot.com/

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  2. Thank you, Tuke! Hope to see you at the yard sale!

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  3. You're welcome Ibukun. Yup, I'll be there :)

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